Toy
I, sometimes, wonder.
If you still, see my photos,
regretting, what you did to me.
But then I realize,
I was a mere toy,
for you, with whom,
you played and
moved on to
another one.
// t o y //
-Abhishek Gupta.
I still wish
I still wish no ill for you.
I pray, everyday,
it never happens to you,
what you did to me.
-Abhishek Gupta.
Letter
To,
The person whom I once loved.
I have nothing but hatred in my heart, for you, but underneath this charade of hatred, there’s still some love left, for you, and it always will.
With love,
Abhishek Gupta.
Rukawatein
Rukawatein toh zindagi mein humesa aati rehti hai, par baat kuch aisi hai, ke maine mushkilon se darkar kabhi rukna nahi seekha.
-Abhishek Gupta.
Silence
Silence is the most
confusing gesture.
It’s the sign of,
love and hatred, both.
You’ll never know,
what’s actually going
on in a person’s mind.
-Abhishek Gupta.
Conversation
– You’ll be loved, forever.
Embrace my love for you.
Let me put an end
to your nightmare.
– But darling, you’re no different.
Same words, different person.
No one can put an end to this
nightmare I’ve been living in.
Darling, you’re no different.
-Abhishek Gupta.
Rang
Girgit se zada
jaldi rang badalte,
aur saanp se zada
zehereeley hote
hai ye insaan.
Shayad isliye
wo rab bhi chahta
hai ke mai akela
hi reh jaun.
//Akelapan//
-Abhishek Gupta.
Success
Some people might
overlook and never
appreciate the fact
that you’ve become
successful today because
of you sheer dedication.
But your loved ones
won’t ever forget this.
They won’t ever forget that
your present is the outcome
of your past and it reflects
how strong you’ve
become than you
once used to be.
-Abhishek Gupta.
Wo Ishq
Wo ishq hi kya, jo yoon aasani se mil jaye.
Wo ishq hi kya, jo phoolon ki tarah na khil paaye.
Wo ishq hi kya, jisme halki phulki takraar na ho.
Wo ishq hi kya, jisme har roz ishq ka izhar na ho.
Wo ishq hi kya, jisme ek dooje par vishwas na ho.
Wo ishq hi kya, jisme aap ek dooje ki vajah-ae-saans na ho.
Wo Roothna,
Wo Manana,
Kabhi gusse se,
Toh kabhi pyar se, samjana.
Bas inhi baaton mein
simta hua hai pyar ka fasana.
Yahan gaur faramiyega zara.
Apne mashooka ke walid se
Wo Pehli dafa milna.
Aur phir unke nazaron ke dar
se aapke honton ka silna.
Pyar me aapko ye din bhi
Dekhna hi padega.
Sath me baith wo sapne dekhna,
Phir ek dusre ko kehna,
Ke hume humesa sath hai rehna.
Bas ye kahi bahar baith ke na karna!
Kya pata ye pyar ke dushman
Kahin bhagwa rang pehen ke aa jaaye,
Aur unse bachne ke liye tumhe na kehna
Pad jaaye apne hi mashooka ko behna.
Khair, toh is baat ko,
Kuch is tarah khatm karte hai.
Ke is pyar ke raaste ko agar tum
Chunn rahe ho, toh hausla bhi rakhna.
Jitna pyar milega is raaste mein,
Kaante bhi utne hi milenge.
Aasaan samjne ki bhool na karna,
Pyar paana mushkil nahi,
Par use nibhana mushkil hai.
Toh jaaye, aap bhi zara pyar me,
Kabhi thoda gir jaaye toh
kabhi thoda sambhal jaaye.
Kyunki,
wo ishq hi kya,
Jo yoon, aasaani se mil jaye.
-Abhishek Gupta.
My Crippling Depression
It follows me everywhere I go.
It never ever leaves me alone.
From morning till night.
It’s always lingering around me.
I stay alone, but I’m never really alone.
It sleeps beside me, every single night.
I repeat, I stay alone.
So sometimes, it’s frightening.
It so frightening, that it sends,
Shivers down my spine.
I hyperventilate.
I cannot think straight.
My head starts brimming,
with thoughts, sick and grim.
I cannot concentrate.
The light in my eyes,
Starts getting dim.
I fall, but I’m still standing.
I feel I’m going to die, alone.
Now I’m panicking, even more.
My eyes start getting shut,
I try to stay awake, but i cannot.
So I just lie down and
then i go into a shock.
Darkness lingers in front of my eyes.
Then, I sleep. I sleep, for a long fuckin’ time.
And When i wake up, I see myself,
Drenched in sweat, still panicking,
Blood rushing to my head.
But I thank God, for I’m not, dead.
I do no drugs,
Not anymore.
I’ve been clean, from a long long time.
But IT has affected so much.
So much that now, again,
I doubt my sobriety.
It never ever leaves me alone.
My crippling depression
And this fuckin’ anxiety.
-Abhishek Gupta