It follows me everywhere I go.
It never ever leaves me alone.
From morning till night.
It’s always lingering around me.
I stay alone, but I’m never really alone.
It sleeps beside me, every single night.
I repeat, I stay alone.
So sometimes, it’s frightening.
It so frightening, that it sends,
Shivers down my spine.
I hyperventilate.
I cannot think straight.
My head starts brimming,
with thoughts, sick and grim.
I cannot concentrate.
The light in my eyes,
Starts getting dim.
I fall, but I’m still standing.
I feel I’m going to die, alone.
Now I’m panicking, even more.
My eyes start getting shut,
I try to stay awake, but i cannot.
So I just lie down and
then i go into a shock.
Darkness lingers in front of my eyes.
Then, I sleep. I sleep, for a long fuckin’ time.
And When i wake up, I see myself,
Drenched in sweat, still panicking,
Blood rushing to my head.
But I thank God, for I’m not, dead.
I do no drugs,
Not anymore.
I’ve been clean, from a long long time.
But IT has affected so much.
So much that now, again,
I doubt my sobriety.
It never ever leaves me alone.
My crippling depression
And this fuckin’ anxiety.
-Abhishek Gupta