a broken lover

Nightmare

The pen you gave me,
Before I went for my
first ever interview.
I threw it away, today.

The letter you wrote me,
where you confessed,
how you fell for me,
and what I meant to you.
I burnt it, today.

The keychain you gave me,
which had our initials
carved on it, as a reminder
of our profound love
for each other.
I thew it in the lake, today,
where we first kissed.

Our photos, every
frigging one of’em,
I tore them, today,
shredded them
into million pieces,
until I felt it couldn’t be
destroyed any further.

Your name, which I inked
on my wrist, I tried to wash
it off, but I couldn’t. I didn’t
have enough money left,
to remove it, so I burned it.
Because I was ready to bear
the pain of that burn rather
than this pain, this agony,
which my heart and I was
going through. I couldn’t
stand the fact that your
name was carved deep
in my skin, and I couldn’t
take it off. It disgusted me.

Lies, is what you fed me.
Broken hearted,
is what you made me.
You left me, alone,
so miserable, that
everyone now dreads me.
You said you loved me,
but I wasn’t the only one,
whom you said this to.
And when I saw it,
with my own eyes,it felt
like a dagger just pierced
right through my heart,
and dried, it bled me.

I threw away everything
which reminded me of you.
I destroyed everything
which reminded me of
how madly in love I was
with a person, who never
deserved any of my love.
But all of this for what?

I threw away everything.
I tried to erase you,
from my life.
But yet here we are,
in my memories,
a place which you will
never leave.

“Nightmare”

-Abhishek Gupta.

Farewell

I felt it, last night.
Your absence.
Again.

I felt it, even when I was asleep.
I was probably dreaming about us.
Anxiety kicked in, and I woke up.
As soon as my eyes opened,
I panicked and screamed,
“Where are you? Where did you go?”

And then I sobbed.
I sobbed for a whole hour,
From 3 am to 4 am,
when I realised,
You weren’t a part of my life anymore,
when I realised,
I was not your man, anymore.
For you chose to break all our promises,
We made that night at the church.
I remember it all.
I remember all your promises.
I remember every word you said.
I remember it all.

Since that night,
when you chose to leave me.
I haven’t had a peaceful sleep.
It’s like I’m in a state of dementia,
Where I wake up every night,
after dreaming of us, together,
only to find out that we’re not,
and what I saw, was just a dream.

I don’t know for how long I’ll be
able to hold myself together.
I’m exhausted now.

I’m stuck in this world,
which exists in my head.
I don’t know
what’s real anymore.
But I have to survive.
For now I have to
handle it all myself.
For I know you won’t
be around anymore.

This was probably
the hardest thing my
heart had to go through.
Probably because I believed
each and every promise you made.
Probably because you were
my hardest goodbye.

I hope he treats you better, than I did.
I hope he loves you more, than I did.
I hope you never have to go through
a heartbreak, like I did.

I hope, someday,
you will realize,
what you did.

-Farewell, love.

-Abhishek Gupta

Waited

You waited, but s/he never came back. Ykw sometimes people don’t come back & that’s okay, because they’re not supposed to be back.

-Abhishek Gupta

Toy

I, sometimes, wonder.
If you still, see my photos,
regretting, what you did to me.

But then I realize,
I was a mere toy,
for you, with whom,
you played and
moved on to
another one.

// t o y //

-Abhishek Gupta.

Letter

To,
The person whom I once loved.

I have nothing but hatred in my heart, for you, but underneath this charade of hatred, there’s still some love left, for you, and it always will.

With love,
Abhishek Gupta.

Grave

She used to tell me
that she couldn’t
live without me?

I tried to find her grave,
everywhere, after she
broke my heart, and,
left me here, alone,
with this void heart.
But I never found it.

-Abhishek Gupta.

Breeze.

Like a gentle breeze.
You came into my life.
When you touched me.
I felt, that sense of peace.

Then you left, and,
I stood there, and,
My heart ached.

But, the mistake was mine.
For I should’ve known.

It’s not in the
nature of breeze,
To stay at one place,
It always flees.

-Abhishek Gupta.

A broken lover.

You should’ve seen your face.

When you smiled, looking at the sunset.
The fact is, you couldn’t, but I did.
I saw you and your gleaming eyes,
Your hair, waving around with the wind,
Your smile, it was so mesmerising.
The sun was setting, but in my heart,
It was actually rising.
Then you turned around, looking at me,
You asked, why was I smiling?
Was it because of the beautiful sunset?
But, I couldn’t answer you that time,
So I just kept smiling, looking at you.
I still, cannot answer,
if you’ll ever ask me this question,
And it’ll always remain burried in my heart,
That I was smiling because,
That one glance of your smile,
Filled my heart with Euphoria,
All I could see, was your smile,
But you were waiting for someone else,
For, not I, but he, was your sunshine,
And all I could’ve done was
To keep my feelings, my pain,
my love for you, to myself,
For, I knew, you could never, ever, be mine.
For I knew, I’d never ever be your sunshine.

– A broken lover.

– Abhishek Gupta.