Tujhe dekha aaj maine.
Kaafi waqt ke baad.
Ek jhalak mein
pehchan nahi
paaya tujhe.
Aisa din bhi aayega,
kabhi socha na tha.
Shayad sach mein ab
maine tujhe is dil se
nikaal phenka hai.
Waise,
kaafi sehmi si
thi aankhein teri,
Jhuki hui, nazre
churaati sabse.
Shayad mujhe dekh
teri aankhon ne tujhe,
teri bewafayi,
teri dagabaazi,
ki yaad dila di hogi.
Tujhe dekha aaj maine.
Kaafi waqt ke baad.
-Abhishek Gupta
Cheers to all the good times we had in
2018 and to our future adventures in 2019.
Life is going to work out just fine,
till the time you don’t run out of wine.🥂
-Abhishek Gupta/@iamraawankbye.
चल मेरे संग,
आ ख़्वाब देखते है।
तू रूबरू हो मेरे ख़्वाब से,
मैं रूबरू होता हूँ तेरे ख़्वाब से।
संग संग प्रयास करते है।
एक दूसरे के ख़्वाब को,
हक़ीक़त में तब्दील करने की।
चल मेरे संग,
आ ख़्वाब देखते है।
-Abhishek Gupta
Liquor in my hand.
I haven’t been drunk
for quite a while now.
I remember the last time I
held a liquor in my hand,
I drowned myself in it,
thinking it would help me,
to forget everything.
I feel like drowning
myself again.
But I know it won’t
help me, because,
it didn’t help me
the last time.
I’m drowning
in my sorrow.
-Abhishek Gupta
I miss myself at times.
I miss the person I once
used to be, before that
chaos tumbled
my life down.
A chaos
called
Love.
-Abhishek Gupta
A new day, a new beginning.
Close the chapter of negativity
from yesterday and reboot yourself.
Start afresh with positivity.
-Abhishek Gupta
Stop trying to seek happiness.
Stop being so hard on yourself.
When you’re sad, be sad.
Don’t force yourself to be happy.
Your sadness will eventually subside.
And you will start smiling again.
Always remember this.
You don’t find happiness.
Happiness finds you.
-Abhishek Gupta
I felt it, last night.
Your absence.
Again.
I felt it, even when I was asleep.
I was probably dreaming about us.
Anxiety kicked in, and I woke up.
As soon as my eyes opened,
I panicked and screamed,
“Where are you? Where did you go?”
And then I sobbed.
I sobbed for a whole hour,
From 3 am to 4 am,
when I realised,
You weren’t a part of my life anymore,
when I realised,
I was not your man, anymore.
For you chose to break all our promises,
We made that night at the church.
I remember it all.
I remember all your promises.
I remember every word you said.
I remember it all.
Since that night,
when you chose to leave me.
I haven’t had a peaceful sleep.
It’s like I’m in a state of dementia,
Where I wake up every night,
after dreaming of us, together,
only to find out that we’re not,
and what I saw, was just a dream.
I don’t know for how long I’ll be
able to hold myself together.
I’m exhausted now.
I’m stuck in this world,
which exists in my head.
I don’t know
what’s real anymore.
But I have to survive.
For now I have to
handle it all myself.
For I know you won’t
be around anymore.
This was probably
the hardest thing my
heart had to go through.
Probably because I believed
each and every promise you made.
Probably because you were
my hardest goodbye.
I hope he treats you better, than I did.
I hope he loves you more, than I did.
I hope you never have to go through
a heartbreak, like I did.
I hope, someday,
you will realize,
what you did.
-Farewell, love.
-Abhishek Gupta
This time,
I won’t let anyone
take away this smile
and my happiness, from me.
This time,
I’m going to rise
back up, stronger.
This time,
I won’t let anyone
break my heart.
This time,
I will protect it,
and I’ll protect myself,
because this time,
I won’t let anyone
take away this smile
and my happiness, from me.
-Abhishek Gupta
Can you save me?
From these fucked up
subliminal suicidal thoughts
which lurk inside my head.
Can you save me?
From the sleep paralysis
I suffer while I lay down still,
waiting for me to die in my bed.
Can you save me?
From my past,
which keeps coming back to me.
It comes back every night,
holds my hand, and
drags me towards that door.
That fucking door,
which looks blood soaked red.
ON my past and my losses,
my anxiety has fed.
I don’t remember how many times,
“I don’t wanna go in there,
please leave me alone”
I said.
But it never stops. It keeps dragging me
towards that door, that fucking door
which looks blood soaked red.
I don’t know what
lies ahead for me in life.
I don’t know if
I’m going to live my dreams,
Or I’m going to die,
giving up seeing all this strife.
I don’t know if I’ll ever fall in love again.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get to feel
how it feels to be loved again.
I don’t know if someone is
already trying to love me,
For I’m too busy isolating myself
and pushing people away.
I’m drowning in this
abyss of loneliness,
I want to be saved,
I want to save myself.
I don’t wanna die alone,
please pull me out of this hell.
Or I might, soon end up dead.
Can you save me?
From these fucked up
subliminal suicidal thoughts
which lurk inside my head.
-Abhishek Gupta