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Purpose

Do I feel lonely at times? Yes. There are so many people I’ve lost while trying to find a purpose of my life, a reason to live, a reason which will give me the motivation, the strength to get up the next morning and start working on myself and my purpose of life, again. I met so many people in my life. I loved some of them, I hated some of them, but I never thought ill for anyone, even if they did for me. Every time anyone needed me, I was there, as a friend, brother, lover or fam. I was there. But most of the time, I was left alone, once I was not needed anymore. The people I loved the most, they abandoned me. I know, that they know, that they were wrong somewhere, and so was I, but I was there for them even at their lowest, but they were never there for me. For a long time, I felt like a left out, like a unlovable person, like a guy who has no purpose in life. It’s really depressing. I just accidentally stumble upon peoples’ lives, give them love and support when they need it, help them and always stand by there side, and when the time is right, when I know they don’t need me anymore, I leave, or should I say, they leave me. All this time, I thought I am a lost cause, without a purpose, but I, now, realise that I’m already serving my purpose. What I never got, I give it to people. Unconditional love and support. It’s okay if I don’t get it back. I do it with no strings attached. I may be a loner, but I’m proud of myself, that I’ve brought smiles on the faces of a lot of people. I know, that they all know, they did me wrong. I did some wrong to them as well, but I always had a heart to make it all up to them again, unlike them. Well, I’m going to keep doing what I do. God bless y’all. Be well! xx

-Abhishek Gupta.

jhalak

Tujhe dekha aaj maine.
Kaafi waqt ke baad.

Ek jhalak mein
pehchan nahi
paaya tujhe.
Aisa din bhi aayega,
kabhi socha na tha.
Shayad sach mein ab
maine tujhe is dil se
nikaal phenka hai.

Waise,
kaafi sehmi si
thi aankhein teri,
Jhuki hui, nazre
churaati sabse.
Shayad mujhe dekh
teri aankhon ne tujhe,
teri bewafayi,
teri dagabaazi,
ki yaad dila di hogi.

Tujhe dekha aaj maine.
Kaafi waqt ke baad.

-Abhishek Gupta

Khwab

चल मेरे संग,
आ ख़्वाब देखते है।

तू रूबरू हो मेरे ख़्वाब से,
मैं रूबरू होता हूँ तेरे ख़्वाब से।

संग संग प्रयास करते है।
एक दूसरे के ख़्वाब को,
हक़ीक़त में तब्दील करने की।

चल मेरे संग,
आ ख़्वाब देखते है।

-Abhishek Gupta

Drunk

Liquor in my hand.
I haven’t been drunk
for quite a while now.

I remember the last time I
held a liquor in my hand,
I drowned myself in it,
thinking it would help me,
to forget everything.

I feel like drowning
myself again.
But I know it won’t
help me, because,
it didn’t help me
the last time.

I’m drowning
in my sorrow.

-Abhishek Gupta

Money/Happiness

We say all the time,
Money doesn’t matter.
Money can’t buy happiness.

But deep within, we all know
that we say this
to make ourselves
feel better about
ourselves and our life.

Truth is,
Money is all
that matters,
in 21st century.

-Abhishek Gupta

Chaos

I miss myself at times.

I miss the person I once
used to be, before that
chaos tumbled
my life down.

A chaos
called
Love.

-Abhishek Gupta

New Day

A new day, a new beginning.
Close the chapter of negativity
from yesterday and reboot yourself.
Start afresh with positivity.

-Abhishek Gupta

Happiness

Stop trying to seek happiness.
Stop being so hard on yourself.
When you’re sad, be sad.
Don’t force yourself to be happy.
Your sadness will eventually subside.
And you will start smiling again.

Always remember this.
You don’t find happiness.
Happiness finds you.

-Abhishek Gupta

Farewell

I felt it, last night.
Your absence.
Again.

I felt it, even when I was asleep.
I was probably dreaming about us.
Anxiety kicked in, and I woke up.
As soon as my eyes opened,
I panicked and screamed,
“Where are you? Where did you go?”

And then I sobbed.
I sobbed for a whole hour,
From 3 am to 4 am,
when I realised,
You weren’t a part of my life anymore,
when I realised,
I was not your man, anymore.
For you chose to break all our promises,
We made that night at the church.
I remember it all.
I remember all your promises.
I remember every word you said.
I remember it all.

Since that night,
when you chose to leave me.
I haven’t had a peaceful sleep.
It’s like I’m in a state of dementia,
Where I wake up every night,
after dreaming of us, together,
only to find out that we’re not,
and what I saw, was just a dream.

I don’t know for how long I’ll be
able to hold myself together.
I’m exhausted now.

I’m stuck in this world,
which exists in my head.
I don’t know
what’s real anymore.
But I have to survive.
For now I have to
handle it all myself.
For I know you won’t
be around anymore.

This was probably
the hardest thing my
heart had to go through.
Probably because I believed
each and every promise you made.
Probably because you were
my hardest goodbye.

I hope he treats you better, than I did.
I hope he loves you more, than I did.
I hope you never have to go through
a heartbreak, like I did.

I hope, someday,
you will realize,
what you did.

-Farewell, love.

-Abhishek Gupta

This Time

This time,
I won’t let anyone
take away this smile
and my happiness, from me.

This time,
I’m going to rise
back up, stronger.

This time,
I won’t let anyone
break my heart.

This time,
I will protect it,
and I’ll protect myself,
because this time,
I won’t let anyone
take away this smile
and my happiness, from me.

-Abhishek Gupta