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Here

I am here.
Right here.
Where I was.
Standing still.
Waiting for you.
To look back once.
But you won’t.
You always,
used to say,
life goes on.
But mine,
It stopped.
I am here.
Right here.

-Abhishek Gupta.

It’s been awhile

It’s been awhile now,
That you’ve been gone.
I sleep on the same bed
on which we used to, together.
It’s the same bed, but,
I don’t know why it feels
just a little bit bigger now.
I still water the plants, which grew
from the seeds, that you had sown.
It’s been awhile now,
That you’ve been gone.

-Abhishek Gupta.

Silence

I gave you my heart,
for you asked me to.
It was hard for me,
but I trusted you.

But you did exactly,
What you said you wouldn’t.
You broke it, again, and,

Now I just sit in silence.

-Abhishek Gupta.

Mistake

Making a mistake is not a bad thing. Making a mistake is a very human thing, but what’s wrong is if you ignore the fact that you did something wrong, and choose not to learn from it.

-Abhishek Gupta.

Be kind

Try not to be rude & harsh to someone, please? You might forget the things you said to someone the very next day, which might’ve possibly hurt his/her feelings, but here’s the thing, the person who was hurt in the process, will never forget your words. Be kind, to everyone.

-Abhishek Gupta.

No strings attached

No strings attached.
A phrase, I have followed my whole life.

I remember, how I once helped my best friend,
Back in the school days, by covering up
for him, saying that it was my mistake,
that the window’s glass got broken.
Well, I paid a price for it then.
I got suspended for a day.
But I did it with no strings attached.
I did it to save my friend, right?

I also remember, how I helped a teacher once,
In my college, when the a group of
students complained against her
to the principal, and it was a false complaint.
So, I stood by her side, and I chose to embrace
the enemity of my own classmates.
I did that, and I was okay with it,
because I have always followed
the path of righteousness.

There are innumerable incidents like these.
Where I did things, with no strings attached.
But is it the Truth?

Here’s the another side of this story.

I remember, how my best friend,
For whom, I was always there, left me alone,
When I was at my lowest and needed him the most.
The same person, whose mistakes I used to cover.
The same person, whom I trusted the most.

I also remember, how the same teacher,
For whom I stood against my own classmates,
Didn’t stood my by side,
when I in a state of depression.
All I asked her was to give me
some more time, to recover from it.
All I wanted was to see my parents,
but she didn’t grant me the leave.
She didn’t care about my mental health.

We all think that we do things selflessly.
Which we do, to be honest.
But somewhere, inside,
we do expect from these people.

And here’s the thing, it’s okay, to expect.
We’re humans and we do expect from
the people whom we think we’re close to.

We might say that there are no strings attached.
But the truth is, we’ll always expect a li’l from them.

-Abhishek Gupta.

Toy

I, sometimes, wonder.
If you still, see my photos,
regretting, what you did to me.

But then I realize,
I was a mere toy,
for you, with whom,
you played and
moved on to
another one.

// t o y //

-Abhishek Gupta.

My Crippling Depression

It follows me everywhere I go.
It never ever leaves me alone.

From morning till night.
It’s always lingering around me.

I stay alone, but I’m never really alone.
It sleeps beside me, every single night.
I repeat, I stay alone.

So sometimes, it’s frightening.
It so frightening, that it sends,
Shivers down my spine.

I hyperventilate.
I cannot think straight.
My head starts brimming,
with thoughts, sick and grim.
I cannot concentrate.
The light in my eyes,
Starts getting dim.

I fall, but I’m still standing.

I feel I’m going to die, alone.
Now I’m panicking, even more.
My eyes start getting shut,
I try to stay awake, but i cannot.
So I just lie down and
then i go into a shock.

Darkness lingers in front of my eyes.
Then, I sleep. I sleep, for a long fuckin’ time.

And When i wake up, I see myself,
Drenched in sweat, still panicking,
Blood rushing to my head.

But I thank God, for I’m not, dead.

I do no drugs,
Not anymore.
I’ve been clean, from a long long time.

But IT has affected so much.
So much that now, again,
I doubt my sobriety.

It never ever leaves me alone.
My crippling depression
And this fuckin’ anxiety.

-Abhishek Gupta

Comfort

You never tried.
So you failed.
But does it
even count
as a failure,
if you never tried?

No, it doesn’t.
You didn’t fail.
You brought shame,
upon your name,
upon your father’s name.

Life is not easy.
It never will be.
So crawl out of
your comfort.
Only then,
You’ll thrive.

-Abhishek Gupta

Complexed

Your problems,
multiplied by your fear,
is equal to the anxiety
attack you experience.
If only, instead of multiplying it
by fear, you’d divide it by efforts,
your life would become
less complexed.

-Abhishek Gupta