Tujhe dekha aaj maine.
Kaafi waqt ke baad.
Ek jhalak mein
pehchan nahi
paaya tujhe.
Aisa din bhi aayega,
kabhi socha na tha.
Shayad sach mein ab
maine tujhe is dil se
nikaal phenka hai.
Waise,
kaafi sehmi si
thi aankhein teri,
Jhuki hui, nazre
churaati sabse.
Shayad mujhe dekh
teri aankhon ne tujhe,
teri bewafayi,
teri dagabaazi,
ki yaad dila di hogi.
Tujhe dekha aaj maine.
Kaafi waqt ke baad.
-Abhishek Gupta
Liquor in my hand.
I haven’t been drunk
for quite a while now.
I remember the last time I
held a liquor in my hand,
I drowned myself in it,
thinking it would help me,
to forget everything.
I feel like drowning
myself again.
But I know it won’t
help me, because,
it didn’t help me
the last time.
I’m drowning
in my sorrow.
-Abhishek Gupta
I miss myself at times.
I miss the person I once
used to be, before that
chaos tumbled
my life down.
A chaos
called
Love.
-Abhishek Gupta
I felt it, last night.
Your absence.
Again.
I felt it, even when I was asleep.
I was probably dreaming about us.
Anxiety kicked in, and I woke up.
As soon as my eyes opened,
I panicked and screamed,
“Where are you? Where did you go?”
And then I sobbed.
I sobbed for a whole hour,
From 3 am to 4 am,
when I realised,
You weren’t a part of my life anymore,
when I realised,
I was not your man, anymore.
For you chose to break all our promises,
We made that night at the church.
I remember it all.
I remember all your promises.
I remember every word you said.
I remember it all.
Since that night,
when you chose to leave me.
I haven’t had a peaceful sleep.
It’s like I’m in a state of dementia,
Where I wake up every night,
after dreaming of us, together,
only to find out that we’re not,
and what I saw, was just a dream.
I don’t know for how long I’ll be
able to hold myself together.
I’m exhausted now.
I’m stuck in this world,
which exists in my head.
I don’t know
what’s real anymore.
But I have to survive.
For now I have to
handle it all myself.
For I know you won’t
be around anymore.
This was probably
the hardest thing my
heart had to go through.
Probably because I believed
each and every promise you made.
Probably because you were
my hardest goodbye.
I hope he treats you better, than I did.
I hope he loves you more, than I did.
I hope you never have to go through
a heartbreak, like I did.
I hope, someday,
you will realize,
what you did.
-Farewell, love.
-Abhishek Gupta
This time,
I won’t let anyone
take away this smile
and my happiness, from me.
This time,
I’m going to rise
back up, stronger.
This time,
I won’t let anyone
break my heart.
This time,
I will protect it,
and I’ll protect myself,
because this time,
I won’t let anyone
take away this smile
and my happiness, from me.
-Abhishek Gupta
I’ve lost so many people in my life, whom I loved from the core of my heart, that now I’ve become numb.
I’m not saying I’m saint and that I never made mistakes. I made mistakes, I overreacted in situations which could’ve been handled maturely, but I paid a heavy toll for my sensitive nature. I lost friends, who were precious to me more than myself.
But I tried to mend things, even though I was partly at fault. I decided to give them my love again, I tried to mend everything, but they refused it. Their ego didn’t let them accept their mistakes, so I ended up being hurt, all over again.
So yes, now, I don’t feel anything when I cut off people from my life, or if people cut me off from their life, because I’ve had enough of it, people playing with my feelings. My heart, now, is an abyss of nothingness. So those friends who ask me all the time, why did I change? Y’all are the reason I became what I am today.
-Abhishek Gupta
मैं रहूँ या ना रहूँ, मेरे ये अल्फ़ाज़ हमेशा रहेंगे।
और जबतक ये रहेंगे, ये अल्फ़ाज़ तुमसे कहेंगे,
के मुस्कुरा कर ही जिया है इस ज़िंदगी को हुमेशा हमने,
और मुस्कुरा कर ही इस दास्ताँ-ए-ग़म को भी हम सहेंगे।
-Abhishek Gupta
I am here.
Right here.
Where I was.
Standing still.
Waiting for you.
To look back once.
But you won’t.
You always,
used to say,
life goes on.
But mine,
It stopped.
I am here.
Right here.
-Abhishek Gupta.
It’s been awhile now,
That you’ve been gone.
I sleep on the same bed
on which we used to, together.
It’s the same bed, but,
I don’t know why it feels
just a little bit bigger now.
I still water the plants, which grew
from the seeds, that you had sown.
It’s been awhile now,
That you’ve been gone.
-Abhishek Gupta.
I was doing fine.
I was on my way
To find bliss, again.
But then,
You came back.
Of Course,
in my memories.
It kills me.
Every time,
I think of you.
It still hurts, the same,
Like it did, when you
broke my heart.
It’s just that,
I don’t talk about it, anymore.
So now, no one can see it.
-Abhishek Gupta.