heartbroken

A broken lover.

You should’ve seen your face.

When you smiled, looking at the sunset.
The fact is, you couldn’t, but I did.
I saw you and your gleaming eyes,
Your hair, waving around with the wind,
Your smile, it was so mesmerising.
The sun was setting, but in my heart,
It was actually rising.
Then you turned around, looking at me,
You asked, why was I smiling?
Was it because of the beautiful sunset?
But, I couldn’t answer you that time,
So I just kept smiling, looking at you.
I still, cannot answer,
if you’ll ever ask me this question,
And it’ll always remain burried in my heart,
That I was smiling because,
That one glance of your smile,
Filled my heart with Euphoria,
All I could see, was your smile,
But you were waiting for someone else,
For, not I, but he, was your sunshine,
And all I could’ve done was
To keep my feelings, my pain,
my love for you, to myself,
For, I knew, you could never, ever, be mine.
For I knew, I’d never ever be your sunshine.

– A broken lover.

– Abhishek Gupta.

Paranoid.

Feeling restless,
I’m sitting out in this field.
Looking at the sky,
Contemplating about my life.
From it what have I yield?
Stepping into adulthood, now,
I can feel it, how paranoid, I am.
There are so many things, in my mind,
But there’s no one I could confide in.
Behind this strong, rough face,
There’s a paranoid little chap hiding.
No one cares to ask, what I feel,
So every night, I look at the sky,
Where she comes out,
Listens to all my stories,
All my fears and all my glories.
I consider, in my life,
she has come as a boon,
For I spend my every night,
Talking to her. Talking to the moon.
– Shine.
– Abhishek Gupta.

Raakh.

Wo aag ab sulagti nahi. Raakh jaisa bhi kuch bacha nahi shayad. Raakh jaisa jo bacha ta. Le gaya hawa use apne sath uda kar. Har dard har yaad ko mita dala us hawe ke jhonke ne. Ab ek nayi shuruwat ki oor kadam badhana hai. Tu aur mai liye hatho me hath. Bas ab hume ye ek sath nibhana hai.

– Abhishek Gupta

Acceptance.

I’m burning in agony.
This is the result of your felony.
Strangers we’ve become,
A constant struggle,
My life has become.
Lonesome nights,
Drowning in rum.
A crucial situation, filled with,
Agitation,
Aggression,
Hesitation,
I have become a living example of negation.
Whether to love. Whether to hate.
So confused, I cannot even interpret.
I guess I have to accept now,
Accept my gruesome fate.
– Abhishek Gupta.

Answer me.

Afar, we were, for a long time.

Afar, we were, for you walked away.

Love, is what I thought, we had for each other.

Here, you were, with me, in my days,

in my days, when they were bright.

But, you hurled me away, left me, when

I was facing the darkest time of my life?

Never, you came back, 

Never, you explained,

why you wreaked havoc on me?

My love, this heart, belonged to you,

and you crushed it into pieces,

leaving this wreckage behind,

this wreckage of misery.

Today, here, I see you, 

Today, here, I see you,

with someone, you say, you love.

Isn’t that, exactly, what you once,

used to tell me, too?

Answers, I want from you.

‘Cause, I deserve to know, why,

why did I suffer so much,

why did you put me through

those torments that tore me apart?

Answers, I want from you.

‘Cause, you walked away, so quietly,

without saying a word, vanished, from my life,

as if we, us, together, never existed, leaving,

not even a single, not even a single, trace.

Answers, I want from you.

‘Cause, now that we’re here,

right here, standing, face to face.

– Agony.

– Abhishek Gupta.

Love is a gamble.

I love you. I really do.

But I’ll not ruin my life.

Not again, not this time.

Love never has brought

anything good to me.

It has always been a source

of sorrow and despair, for me.

My heart has been broken by those,

who said they loved me.

My trust has been broken by those,

Who said they’d never break it.

Tired, I am, of these betrayals.

Tired, I am, of my heart being broken.

Tired, I am, of my unfortunate destiny.

I know, giving chances to people is good.

I wish, I could’ve given you, another one.

But, my love, I cannot, for now, I am done

I love you. I really do.

But I’ll not ruin my life.

Not again, not this time.

– Love is a gamble.

– Abhishek Gupta.

Regret.

I don’t regret you.​

I don’t, for you were once my muse.

You still are, but now,

the reasons have changed.

I, then, used to write for you, love.

I, now, write to get rid of the pain.

The pain, the suffering, 

you brought upon me.

– I don’t regret you.

– Abhishek Gupta.

Void.

Never before, was I, like this.

care and love, that’s all 

my heart was filled with.

I showered, all my love, on you.

Happiness, is all that I wanted.

For you. For me.

Now, since you left,

choosing a path, 

which led you away from me,

Void, my heart has become.

Void, my life bas become, too.

Feelings, left inside are none.

Null, is the love, left inside me.

Care, I have forgotten, what it means.

I am not, anymore, me.

I am not, anymore, what I used to be.

Changed, I am, I had to, for,

you made me this person, I am, today.

You woke this demon, 

who doesn’t care about 

anyone, anymore.

Not even about,

himself.

– Apathetic.

– Abhishek Gupta.