This time,
I won’t let anyone
take away this smile
and my happiness, from me.
This time,
I’m going to rise
back up, stronger.
This time,
I won’t let anyone
break my heart.
This time,
I will protect it,
and I’ll protect myself,
because this time,
I won’t let anyone
take away this smile
and my happiness, from me.
-Abhishek Gupta
Can you save me?
From these fucked up
subliminal suicidal thoughts
which lurk inside my head.
Can you save me?
From the sleep paralysis
I suffer while I lay down still,
waiting for me to die in my bed.
Can you save me?
From my past,
which keeps coming back to me.
It comes back every night,
holds my hand, and
drags me towards that door.
That fucking door,
which looks blood soaked red.
ON my past and my losses,
my anxiety has fed.
I don’t remember how many times,
“I don’t wanna go in there,
please leave me alone”
I said.
But it never stops. It keeps dragging me
towards that door, that fucking door
which looks blood soaked red.
I don’t know what
lies ahead for me in life.
I don’t know if
I’m going to live my dreams,
Or I’m going to die,
giving up seeing all this strife.
I don’t know if I’ll ever fall in love again.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get to feel
how it feels to be loved again.
I don’t know if someone is
already trying to love me,
For I’m too busy isolating myself
and pushing people away.
I’m drowning in this
abyss of loneliness,
I want to be saved,
I want to save myself.
I don’t wanna die alone,
please pull me out of this hell.
Or I might, soon end up dead.
Can you save me?
From these fucked up
subliminal suicidal thoughts
which lurk inside my head.
-Abhishek Gupta
I might get a lot of hate for this, but it’s okay. I’m cool with it. I have a message for all the guys and girls as well. Don’t get too much influenced by these perfect looking Instagrammers, fashion/make-up bloggers & influencers. Watch them, enjoy and learn the tricks and all, but don’t think for one second, “Oh this is what perfection looks like” “I want to be perfect like this”. They are not perfect, that is why they need materials to make them look perfect. Behind all that make up/cool apparels is a guy/girl just as normal as you and I. And being normal doesn’t mean you’re not perfect. You’re perfect the way you are, never ever think that you’re less than anyone. You’re a perfect 10. Alright? Guys, don’t expect your girl to look like these influencers all the time, because that’s not what reality looks like, accept this, and girls, you don’t need to do this for any guy’s validation. Do it for yourself, not for others. But also don’t forget this thing, that all of these things just enhances your body features, but you’re already perfect Be yourself. Be confident.
-Abhishek Gupta.
I’ve lost so many people in my life, whom I loved from the core of my heart, that now I’ve become numb.
I’m not saying I’m saint and that I never made mistakes. I made mistakes, I overreacted in situations which could’ve been handled maturely, but I paid a heavy toll for my sensitive nature. I lost friends, who were precious to me more than myself.
But I tried to mend things, even though I was partly at fault. I decided to give them my love again, I tried to mend everything, but they refused it. Their ego didn’t let them accept their mistakes, so I ended up being hurt, all over again.
So yes, now, I don’t feel anything when I cut off people from my life, or if people cut me off from their life, because I’ve had enough of it, people playing with my feelings. My heart, now, is an abyss of nothingness. So those friends who ask me all the time, why did I change? Y’all are the reason I became what I am today.
-Abhishek Gupta
I leave my work pressure, stress, anger and frustration behind once I leave my office after a whole day of work. I tend to not bring the negativity of the outside world in my home, which is the only place where I find love, peace of mind and happiness. My father taught me this lesson in life that home is supposed to be a safe space for you, so never bring the negativity here and spread it to your family, friends and loved ones.
Thank you for teaching me this dad.
-Abhishek Gupta
मैं रहूँ या ना रहूँ, मेरे ये अल्फ़ाज़ हमेशा रहेंगे।
और जबतक ये रहेंगे, ये अल्फ़ाज़ तुमसे कहेंगे,
के मुस्कुरा कर ही जिया है इस ज़िंदगी को हुमेशा हमने,
और मुस्कुरा कर ही इस दास्ताँ-ए-ग़म को भी हम सहेंगे।
-Abhishek Gupta
You can never go back to what you were. I can never go back to what I was. Our experiences change us. We evolve mentally, physically and emotionally with time. You need to accept yourself the way you’re now. Don’t think of the past, the things which made you happy. It’s in the past. Those people, those things which used to make you happy, aren’t there anymore. So find happiness in the things, the people you have now. Let bygones be bygones. Focus of present, because your present will shape your future. Always remember this.
-Abhishek Gupta
We don’t always get what we want, what we deserve. Not everyone is lucky. I’ve struggled a lot in my life, and I’m still struggling. I had dreams. Big ass dreams. Couldn’t fulfill all of it. Because that’s life. Sometimes we don’t get what we want, so we need to learn to find happiness in what we have. If we are destined to do something big in life, we will do it, when the time is right. There’s a phrase in Hindi, which we need to learn by heart and respect it, “waqt se pehle, aur naseeb se zada kisi ko kuch nahi milta”. I’m not trying to demotivate any of you here. I am just telling you to face the truth. And keep working hard, so that someday you will reach that point in your life where you can actually try to fulfill all your dreams and live your life the way you always wanted to live. Accept the reality, but never lose hope. Hope is what keeps the fire within us, alive.
-Abhishek Gupta
You’ll fall. You’re supposed to fall. That is inevitable. ‘Sometimes’ you have people around you, who will help you, to get up, but mostly this is not the case. You fall down. You’re hurt. You feel like giving up. But that’s what life is all about. So get used to it. Get used to of falling down and getting hurt. Because that’s how we learn and evolve. And then, you pick yourself up. You guide yourself. You LEARN from your mistakes. Always remember this, “the people you expect to be around, will not always be around, so you need to trust only one person, and that one person is YOU”. When it’s dark, you light your way and guide yourself home. People are temporary. YOU are constant, in your life. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. No matter how hard it gets, never lose hope.
-Abhishek Gupta
अगर चाय ना होता तो क्या होता?
ये भी नही बोल सकता मैं,
के वही होता जो मंज़ूर ए खुदा होता।
क्यूंकि चाय ना होने का इल्जाम
भी अगर खुदा के ऊपर ही डाल दूं,
तो बात कुछ ऐसी हो जाती के
आफिस के वक़्त डेस्क पर अपने
मैं भरी दोपहरी सो रहा होता।
अगर चाय ना होता तो क्या होता?
चाय बिना ज़िन्दगी अधूरी होती।
आधी दुनिया बेवक़्त हर जगह सो रही होती।
फिर सैलरी से सोने के नाम जो
फाइन काटा होता कंपनी ने,
उस बात को लेकर किसी कोने
में जाकर ये जनता रो रही होती।
और आधी आबादी इस दुनिया की,
सरदर्द के burden को अपने
unused भेजे में रख,
उसे हर जगह ढो रही होती।
बिना चाय के ये ज़िन्दगी
अपना मिठास खो रही होती।
अगर चाय ना होता, तो क्या होता?
Actually ना, fuck it.
मैं क्युं ना उसपर Topic divert करुं?
सब तो उसी के नाम पर बकवास करते है।
अगर चाय ना होता तो क्या होता?
अगर चाय ना होता तो क्या होता?
अरे भैया वही होता,
जो मंज़ूर ए खुदा होता।
– अभिषेक गुप्ता।