my fitful motifs

No strings attached

No strings attached.
A phrase, I have followed my whole life.

I remember, how I once helped my best friend,
Back in the school days, by covering up
for him, saying that it was my mistake,
that the window’s glass got broken.
Well, I paid a price for it then.
I got suspended for a day.
But I did it with no strings attached.
I did it to save my friend, right?

I also remember, how I helped a teacher once,
In my college, when the a group of
students complained against her
to the principal, and it was a false complaint.
So, I stood by her side, and I chose to embrace
the enemity of my own classmates.
I did that, and I was okay with it,
because I have always followed
the path of righteousness.

There are innumerable incidents like these.
Where I did things, with no strings attached.
But is it the Truth?

Here’s the another side of this story.

I remember, how my best friend,
For whom, I was always there, left me alone,
When I was at my lowest and needed him the most.
The same person, whose mistakes I used to cover.
The same person, whom I trusted the most.

I also remember, how the same teacher,
For whom I stood against my own classmates,
Didn’t stood my by side,
when I in a state of depression.
All I asked her was to give me
some more time, to recover from it.
All I wanted was to see my parents,
but she didn’t grant me the leave.
She didn’t care about my mental health.

We all think that we do things selflessly.
Which we do, to be honest.
But somewhere, inside,
we do expect from these people.

And here’s the thing, it’s okay, to expect.
We’re humans and we do expect from
the people whom we think we’re close to.

We might say that there are no strings attached.
But the truth is, we’ll always expect a li’l from them.

-Abhishek Gupta.

Depression.

Depression is not sadness. Stop considering it as one. It fucks you up from inside. If it has taken lives of people like Robin Williams, Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington, then it’s pretty darn real. Stop saying this “If you’re depressed, talk”. YOU SHOULD GO AND TALK TO THEM. If you feel someone is depressed. Go and talk to them. Don’t wait for them to come and talk to you. They might not. Help them.

– Depression kills.

– Abhishek Gupta.

O Captain! My Captain!

O Captain! My Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!O the bleeding drops of red,Where on the deck my Captain lies,Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! My Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here captain! dear father!This arm beneath your head;It is some dream that on the deck,You’ve fallen cold and dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!But I, with mournful tread,Walk the deck my captain lies,Fallen cold and dead.

-Walt Whitman.

Anger.

Take a deep breath. Gulp that anger. It just brings negativity.
It’s not going to take you anywhere good.

-Abhishek Gupta

Dive into my life.

My friends think I’m a spoiled brat.
Some say I’m blunt.
Some say I’m rude.
But hey, that doesn’t make a spoiled brat.
That’s just who I am.
That’s my attitude.
No, I do not come from a rich background.
I’ve seen all the luxuries of life.
I’ve also seen bitterness of it, the strife.
I’ve seen it all. The Good. The Bad.
I’ve felt that hunger, making me go, mad.
I’ve seen my ma and pa at their peak.
But, I’ve also seen them fallen down,
When sorrow surrounded us, and,
everything felt just bleak.
Yes, I am a bit skeptical,
I am a bit blunt, a bit rude,
And you know what?
I don’t even care about being booed.
My father and my mother gave me this life,
A happy, luxurious and comfortable life.
But they’ve always lived theirs in simplicity.
I’ve seen my family, rich, touching the sky,
But I’ve also seen them crumbling down.
I’ve learned from my father and my mother,
To never give up, to never lose faith.
I’ve seen them building an empire, again,
From the scratches, facing all the Wraith.
Go ahead, come on, NOW judge me.
For everyone, I ever met,
have always done that.
I might look tough, I might look rough,
I might sometimes be a prick,
But before you judge me,
Come, my friend, take a dive into my life,
Look, for real, who I am,
beneath this rugged skin.
A son, a brother, a broken lover.
Dive into my life, and you’ll know,
Why people say this phrase.
– Never judge a book by its cover.
– Abhishek Gupta.