poet

Waited

You waited, but s/he never came back. Ykw sometimes people don’t come back & that’s okay, because they’re not supposed to be back.

-Abhishek Gupta

Ghosts

I was told to write what would I do if I was a ghost, but am I not a ghost already? When you die, your soul leaves your body, and the ones who get stuck in this world, we call them ghosts. That’s what people believe, right? But what do we call people whose souls have been torn apart umpteen times, whose dreams have been crushed ever since they were a kid. Aren’t these people dead already, inside. Aren’t these people, ghosts too, Just like me?

-Abhishek Gupta

Read more about the article Fading Away

Fading Away

I can see you fading away,
like the dimming flame of
that candle, which has reached
its bottom and is now going to
submit itself to the darkness.

I can see you fading away,
like the memory of that
old rusted, broken car,
which I once saw on
the highway, abandoned.

I can see you fading away,
like my zest for playing guitar,
which is kept at the corner
of my room, which sometimes
peeps and tries to remind me
of its existence, which I tend
to ignore most of the time,
because, time is what, I have not.

I can see you fading away,
but I’m trying hard not to
let go of you, for you’re
the pillar of my existence.
Poetry, my zest for writing,
I can see you,
fading away,
from me.

-Abhishek Gupta.

Read more about the article Survivor

Survivor

I am standing at this side of the isle,
And I can see you, going away.
There’s nothing I can do, to stop you.
It’d would be something similar to
Me trying to not let the sand, in my fist, fall down.
See, here’s the thing, even if I try, I know,
It, the sand, is going to vanish in some time.

I don’t know, how to react.
I don’t know, how to enact.
I won’t be fine, well,
that I know, for the fact.
But how good I am
at burying my feelings,
deep inside my chest, alive.
Only I, know that.

But you know what,
I am exhausted now.
I’m tired of putting
that mask, on my face.
That mask of “I’m okay”.
Masquerading,
that I’m strong.
Whilst I’m not.

Consumed by the dark, I am.
Broken inside, yet alive, I am.
Maybe beyond fixing, aloof, I am.

But worry not, about me.
Alone, I might be,
But lonely,
I am not.

I know,
how strong,
I am.
However
my life is,
here’s
the thing,
Alive,
I am.

// survivor //

-Abhishek Gupta

Happy Or Unhappy?

I understand, that you want to make everyone happy and not hurt them. But, you need to understand too, that you can’t make everyone happy. Because sometimes, doing what makes you happy, might make someone unhappy. Don’t make others happy, at the cost of your own happiness.

-Abhishek Gupta.

Bloom

You might still love and miss some toxic people who were once in your life, I know this because I do, but you need to not let the vulnerability take control of you. They were cut off from your life, because they were toxic, so let them stay that way, and you bloom like a flower.

-Abhishek Gupta.

No strings attached

No strings attached.
A phrase, I have followed my whole life.

I remember, how I once helped my best friend,
Back in the school days, by covering up
for him, saying that it was my mistake,
that the window’s glass got broken.
Well, I paid a price for it then.
I got suspended for a day.
But I did it with no strings attached.
I did it to save my friend, right?

I also remember, how I helped a teacher once,
In my college, when the a group of
students complained against her
to the principal, and it was a false complaint.
So, I stood by her side, and I chose to embrace
the enemity of my own classmates.
I did that, and I was okay with it,
because I have always followed
the path of righteousness.

There are innumerable incidents like these.
Where I did things, with no strings attached.
But is it the Truth?

Here’s the another side of this story.

I remember, how my best friend,
For whom, I was always there, left me alone,
When I was at my lowest and needed him the most.
The same person, whose mistakes I used to cover.
The same person, whom I trusted the most.

I also remember, how the same teacher,
For whom I stood against my own classmates,
Didn’t stood my by side,
when I in a state of depression.
All I asked her was to give me
some more time, to recover from it.
All I wanted was to see my parents,
but she didn’t grant me the leave.
She didn’t care about my mental health.

We all think that we do things selflessly.
Which we do, to be honest.
But somewhere, inside,
we do expect from these people.

And here’s the thing, it’s okay, to expect.
We’re humans and we do expect from
the people whom we think we’re close to.

We might say that there are no strings attached.
But the truth is, we’ll always expect a li’l from them.

-Abhishek Gupta.

Toy

I, sometimes, wonder.
If you still, see my photos,
regretting, what you did to me.

But then I realize,
I was a mere toy,
for you, with whom,
you played and
moved on to
another one.

// t o y //

-Abhishek Gupta.

My Crippling Depression

It follows me everywhere I go.
It never ever leaves me alone.

From morning till night.
It’s always lingering around me.

I stay alone, but I’m never really alone.
It sleeps beside me, every single night.
I repeat, I stay alone.

So sometimes, it’s frightening.
It so frightening, that it sends,
Shivers down my spine.

I hyperventilate.
I cannot think straight.
My head starts brimming,
with thoughts, sick and grim.
I cannot concentrate.
The light in my eyes,
Starts getting dim.

I fall, but I’m still standing.

I feel I’m going to die, alone.
Now I’m panicking, even more.
My eyes start getting shut,
I try to stay awake, but i cannot.
So I just lie down and
then i go into a shock.

Darkness lingers in front of my eyes.
Then, I sleep. I sleep, for a long fuckin’ time.

And When i wake up, I see myself,
Drenched in sweat, still panicking,
Blood rushing to my head.

But I thank God, for I’m not, dead.

I do no drugs,
Not anymore.
I’ve been clean, from a long long time.

But IT has affected so much.
So much that now, again,
I doubt my sobriety.

It never ever leaves me alone.
My crippling depression
And this fuckin’ anxiety.

-Abhishek Gupta