If something or someone is
getting on my nerves to an
extent that I cannot bear it.
I simply drift away from
that thing or that person.
Not everything/everyone needs
a reaction from you. They might
as well be doing whatever they’re
doing just to get on your nerves,
so that you can lose your calm.
Be a better and sensible person.
Don’t lose you calm and peace
of mind in such situations.
-Abhishek Gupta
People forget you.
That is how people are.
Then they’ll remember you.
Out of the blue,
they’ll reach out to you.
They’ll talk to you,
and tell you how much
they’ve missed you.
And once they start feeling
better, after talking to you.
They’ll forget about you,
again, in a blink of an eye.
This is an endless cycle.
It goes on and on and on.
We just get used to it.
So we never complain.
Because, ah there’s no
“because” to this thing.
We simply get used to
of being treated like this.
Because, that is
how people are.
-Abhishek Gupta.
There’s a war brewing inside my head.
I’m so tired of this never ending sadness.
No more tears are left in my eyes to be shed.
To fight or not to fight?
I’m consumed by this darkness.
This darkness is getting stronger,
and my light is losing this fight.
I need to find the light.
Where’s the light?
Where’s the light?
I need to end this.
I need to know if I’m still sane.
Somebody, please stop this.
I don’t know how to stop this.
I feel all my efforts are going in vain.
Somebody, Please tell me.
How do I stop this pain?
How do I stop this pain?
-Abhishek Gupta
How have you been?
Let’s catch up,
have some wine,
and conversate,
about how we always
trying to impersonate,
and trying to be
someone we’re not.
We are slowly
becoming
who we hate.
Life’s been hell lately,
but we tell everyone
it’s going great.
My mind, right now, is in
a pretty messed up state.
But I’m holding on, somehow,
telling myself to wait.
Wait for something good to happen,
something which’ll really be great.
Which’ll pull me out of
this miserable state.
But Hey,
how have YOU been?
Let’s catch up,
have some wine,
and conversate.
-Abhishek Gupta
I loved someone once, with all my heart and soul. I’d have laid down my life for that person happily. That person meant the world to me. I met that someone during my darkest time, and that person pulled me out of the darkness, promising to be the light of my life. But in the end it didn’t matter, for that person pulled me out of the darkness just to drown me in the ocean of darkness later on. Oh, and I don’t know how to swim. That person knew this. I was left devastated and broken.
I trusted a friend once. Whom I considered a close confidante. Shared my life, my secrets and emotions. I do not open up to someone emotionally so easy, but I trusted this person. My friend was there, when I was drowning in the ocean of darkness. My friend, whom I treated like a brother, was that pillar of strength for me, because of whom I swam my way back to the ocean surface and eventually reached the shore. My friend, he was all that I was left with, when everyone abandoned me because of my deteriorating mental health. But one day, it turned out, he broke my trust too. He had his reasons to stick by my side. Once again, someone helped me to subside my demons just to throw me back to them at double the velocity I got away from them. Once again, I was left devastated and broken.
Devastated and broken? Yes. But am I still here, pretty much alive and still kickin’ ass? Hell yeah. Life knocked me down, and I got back up, and I always will. Because that’s what we’re supposed to do. Some people will see it this way, how devastated and broken I was, I still am somewhat. But I chose to see the good and bad, both. They broke me, but before they broke me, they helped me heal, too. So, no. I don’t have any hatred for them in my heart. I have no ill thoughts for them, because I learned an important lesson about life, because of them.
I learned that, no matter how hard life knocks us down, it’s “us” who decides whether we can get back up or not. Even if the world says, you won’t be able to get back up after that hit you took. YOU CAN GET BACK UP. All you need to do is BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. You’re a warrior and a warrior
NEVER
EVER
BACKS
DOWN.
-Abhishek Gupta
Tw: suicidal motifs.
I run through the sand, I stride.
So desperate to get away.
So desperate to hide.
I run towards the waves.
They’re calling me home.
They say, my soul,
only they can save.
I know, this is the end.
I’m running towards my grave.
But I trust them, I believe.
My soul, only they can save.
Once they pull me, inside.
Inside, I won’t have to run,
desperately trying to hide.
Inside, there’ll be no tears.
Inside, I’ll never have to
remember the times,
when I was left alone,
the times, when I cried.
I’m telling myself
Don’t be afraid.
I’m telling myself
Don’t be afraid.
It’s time, it’s time.
We’re going home.
-Abhishek Gupta
Autumn arrived,
and the leaves,
left the branches
of the tree all alone.
But the tree stood
right where it was,
still and strong.
For it knew,
they’ll come back.
For it knew,
that’s how the nature works.
So you, too,
stay strong and
don’t give up.
For you’re just
like a tree, and
the moments of
happiness you feel
are the leaves.
Happiness might’ve left
you alone, for now.
But it’ll come back.
It always comes back.
For that’s the nature
of happiness.
It comes and goes,
just like the wind,
it never stays still.
So be the tree here,
and stand still and strong.
For your roots are
not so weak that you will
give up so soon on life.
-Abhishek Gupta
Do I feel lonely at times? Yes. There are so many people I’ve lost while trying to find a purpose of my life, a reason to live, a reason which will give me the motivation, the strength to get up the next morning and start working on myself and my purpose of life, again. I met so many people in my life. I loved some of them, I hated some of them, but I never thought ill for anyone, even if they did for me. Every time anyone needed me, I was there, as a friend, brother, lover or fam. I was there. But most of the time, I was left alone, once I was not needed anymore. The people I loved the most, they abandoned me. I know, that they know, that they were wrong somewhere, and so was I, but I was there for them even at their lowest, but they were never there for me. For a long time, I felt like a left out, like a unlovable person, like a guy who has no purpose in life. It’s really depressing. I just accidentally stumble upon peoples’ lives, give them love and support when they need it, help them and always stand by there side, and when the time is right, when I know they don’t need me anymore, I leave, or should I say, they leave me. All this time, I thought I am a lost cause, without a purpose, but I, now, realise that I’m already serving my purpose. What I never got, I give it to people. Unconditional love and support. It’s okay if I don’t get it back. I do it with no strings attached. I may be a loner, but I’m proud of myself, that I’ve brought smiles on the faces of a lot of people. I know, that they all know, they did me wrong. I did some wrong to them as well, but I always had a heart to make it all up to them again, unlike them. Well, I’m going to keep doing what I do. God bless y’all. Be well! xx
-Abhishek Gupta.
I miss myself at times.
I miss the person I once
used to be, before that
chaos tumbled
my life down.
A chaos
called
Love.
-Abhishek Gupta
A new day, a new beginning.
Close the chapter of negativity
from yesterday and reboot yourself.
Start afresh with positivity.
-Abhishek Gupta