There used to be a time when I had
someone in my life whom I used to
ask to send me voice notes, because
that person’s beautiful voice used to
calm down all the turmoils inside my head.
But sadly, people change with time.
Their voice might not change, but they
change. And when people change, no matter
how much you used to love them, you won’t
even feel like listening to their voice again.
-Abhishek Gupta
If something or someone is
getting on my nerves to an
extent that I cannot bear it.
I simply drift away from
that thing or that person.
Not everything/everyone needs
a reaction from you. They might
as well be doing whatever they’re
doing just to get on your nerves,
so that you can lose your calm.
Be a better and sensible person.
Don’t lose you calm and peace
of mind in such situations.
-Abhishek Gupta
My heart aches, every time
I think that you’ll never know
how much love I have for you,
in my heart. You look for this kind of love
everywhere else, in everyone else,
but you never look for it, in me.
I guess I’ll never be the one for you,
and I’m tired of being treated
like an option. I guess this is
where we part our ways.
The love you crave for,
was right in front of you.
If only you’d have opened
your eyes and seen it, but it’s okay.
This is how life works.
It’s time, for me to bid
you a final goodbye.
-Abhishek Gupta
Ever woke up in the middle of the night, after a dream in which you were still together with that person who broke your heart and crushed it? You were happy in that dream. But then you wake up smiling, and after a few seconds you realise it was just a dream and then the bitter memories hit you back, it hits you real hard and then, you just breakdown in the middle of the night. Sobbing uncontrollably, until you get so exhausted that you fall asleep, again.
It breaks you from inside.
-Abhishek Gupta
How have you been?
Let’s catch up,
have some wine,
and conversate,
about how we always
trying to impersonate,
and trying to be
someone we’re not.
We are slowly
becoming
who we hate.
Life’s been hell lately,
but we tell everyone
it’s going great.
My mind, right now, is in
a pretty messed up state.
But I’m holding on, somehow,
telling myself to wait.
Wait for something good to happen,
something which’ll really be great.
Which’ll pull me out of
this miserable state.
But Hey,
how have YOU been?
Let’s catch up,
have some wine,
and conversate.
-Abhishek Gupta
I loved someone once, with all my heart and soul. I’d have laid down my life for that person happily. That person meant the world to me. I met that someone during my darkest time, and that person pulled me out of the darkness, promising to be the light of my life. But in the end it didn’t matter, for that person pulled me out of the darkness just to drown me in the ocean of darkness later on. Oh, and I don’t know how to swim. That person knew this. I was left devastated and broken.
I trusted a friend once. Whom I considered a close confidante. Shared my life, my secrets and emotions. I do not open up to someone emotionally so easy, but I trusted this person. My friend was there, when I was drowning in the ocean of darkness. My friend, whom I treated like a brother, was that pillar of strength for me, because of whom I swam my way back to the ocean surface and eventually reached the shore. My friend, he was all that I was left with, when everyone abandoned me because of my deteriorating mental health. But one day, it turned out, he broke my trust too. He had his reasons to stick by my side. Once again, someone helped me to subside my demons just to throw me back to them at double the velocity I got away from them. Once again, I was left devastated and broken.
Devastated and broken? Yes. But am I still here, pretty much alive and still kickin’ ass? Hell yeah. Life knocked me down, and I got back up, and I always will. Because that’s what we’re supposed to do. Some people will see it this way, how devastated and broken I was, I still am somewhat. But I chose to see the good and bad, both. They broke me, but before they broke me, they helped me heal, too. So, no. I don’t have any hatred for them in my heart. I have no ill thoughts for them, because I learned an important lesson about life, because of them.
I learned that, no matter how hard life knocks us down, it’s “us” who decides whether we can get back up or not. Even if the world says, you won’t be able to get back up after that hit you took. YOU CAN GET BACK UP. All you need to do is BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. You’re a warrior and a warrior
NEVER
EVER
BACKS
DOWN.
-Abhishek Gupta
Ye duniya ek rangmanch hai,
Chaayi har oor tanhayi hai.
Khafa nahi hoon tujhse main.
Ye bas meri khud ki,
Khud se ladaayi hai.
-Abhishek Gupta.
I felt it today.
After a long time.
Happiness.
I realised today,
that I had been
missing so many
things in life,
because I spent most
of my life,
being depressed,
clinging onto my past.
Today,
I decided to go out.
Small things,
like simply hanging
out with people who
love poetry the
same way you do,
can bring that
lost smile back
on your face.
I saw myself
happy, today.
I saw myself
smiling, today.
I even made new friends.
I am so proud of myself,
that I actually went out
and socialised so much.
I sang, played guitar,
and even rhymed the word scar,
with a car and my guitar.
My poetry was a disaster tho,
but I don’t remember the
last time I was this
carefree and euphoric.
I felt it today.
After a long time.
Happiness.
But then came,
the wave of sadness.
When I realised,
this happiness which
I found in these people,
will be vanished, again,
once I will leave,
and go back to
being myself.
I’ll again be lying
alone in my bed,
with the dark thoughts
feeding on my happiness,
eventually, consuming it all.
My heart is so
heavy right now,
because I know,
this happiness,
which I felt today,
is temporary.
I guess that’s why
I’m even writing this,
today, after such a
long time, because
writing is the only way
by which I can vent.
My heart is so
heavy right now.
I wish,
I could
be this
happy,
more
often.
I wish.
I wish.
I wish.
-Abhishek Gupta
The pen you gave me,
Before I went for my
first ever interview.
I threw it away, today.
The letter you wrote me,
where you confessed,
how you fell for me,
and what I meant to you.
I burnt it, today.
The keychain you gave me,
which had our initials
carved on it, as a reminder
of our profound love
for each other.
I thew it in the lake, today,
where we first kissed.
Our photos, every
frigging one of’em,
I tore them, today,
shredded them
into million pieces,
until I felt it couldn’t be
destroyed any further.
Your name, which I inked
on my wrist, I tried to wash
it off, but I couldn’t. I didn’t
have enough money left,
to remove it, so I burned it.
Because I was ready to bear
the pain of that burn rather
than this pain, this agony,
which my heart and I was
going through. I couldn’t
stand the fact that your
name was carved deep
in my skin, and I couldn’t
take it off. It disgusted me.
Lies, is what you fed me.
Broken hearted,
is what you made me.
You left me, alone,
so miserable, that
everyone now dreads me.
You said you loved me,
but I wasn’t the only one,
whom you said this to.
And when I saw it,
with my own eyes,it felt
like a dagger just pierced
right through my heart,
and dried, it bled me.
I threw away everything
which reminded me of you.
I destroyed everything
which reminded me of
how madly in love I was
with a person, who never
deserved any of my love.
But all of this for what?
I threw away everything.
I tried to erase you,
from my life.
But yet here we are,
in my memories,
a place which you will
never leave.
“Nightmare”
-Abhishek Gupta.
Tujhe dekha aaj maine.
Kaafi waqt ke baad.
Ek jhalak mein
pehchan nahi
paaya tujhe.
Aisa din bhi aayega,
kabhi socha na tha.
Shayad sach mein ab
maine tujhe is dil se
nikaal phenka hai.
Waise,
kaafi sehmi si
thi aankhein teri,
Jhuki hui, nazre
churaati sabse.
Shayad mujhe dekh
teri aankhon ne tujhe,
teri bewafayi,
teri dagabaazi,
ki yaad dila di hogi.
Tujhe dekha aaj maine.
Kaafi waqt ke baad.
-Abhishek Gupta