sad

Farewell

I felt it, last night.
Your absence.
Again.

I felt it, even when I was asleep.
I was probably dreaming about us.
Anxiety kicked in, and I woke up.
As soon as my eyes opened,
I panicked and screamed,
“Where are you? Where did you go?”

And then I sobbed.
I sobbed for a whole hour,
From 3 am to 4 am,
when I realised,
You weren’t a part of my life anymore,
when I realised,
I was not your man, anymore.
For you chose to break all our promises,
We made that night at the church.
I remember it all.
I remember all your promises.
I remember every word you said.
I remember it all.

Since that night,
when you chose to leave me.
I haven’t had a peaceful sleep.
It’s like I’m in a state of dementia,
Where I wake up every night,
after dreaming of us, together,
only to find out that we’re not,
and what I saw, was just a dream.

I don’t know for how long I’ll be
able to hold myself together.
I’m exhausted now.

I’m stuck in this world,
which exists in my head.
I don’t know
what’s real anymore.
But I have to survive.
For now I have to
handle it all myself.
For I know you won’t
be around anymore.

This was probably
the hardest thing my
heart had to go through.
Probably because I believed
each and every promise you made.
Probably because you were
my hardest goodbye.

I hope he treats you better, than I did.
I hope he loves you more, than I did.
I hope you never have to go through
a heartbreak, like I did.

I hope, someday,
you will realize,
what you did.

-Farewell, love.

-Abhishek Gupta

Read more about the article Past Present Future

Past Present Future

You can never go back to what you were. I can never go back to what I was. Our experiences change us. We evolve mentally, physically and emotionally with time. You need to accept yourself the way you’re now. Don’t think of the past, the things which made you happy. It’s in the past. Those people, those things which used to make you happy, aren’t there anymore. So find happiness in the things, the people you have now. Let bygones be bygones. Focus of present, because your present will shape your future. Always remember this.

-Abhishek Gupta

Nami

Tu hai, phir bhi kyun khalti hai teri kami.
Sab waqt ka taqaaza hai.
Mehsoos hua ye mujhe aaj,
jab aayi mere in aankhon mein nami.

-Abhishek Gupta

Answer me.

Afar, we were, for a long time.

Afar, we were, for you walked away.

Love, is what I thought, we had for each other.

Here, you were, with me, in my days,

in my days, when they were bright.

But, you hurled me away, left me, when

I was facing the darkest time of my life?

Never, you came back, 

Never, you explained,

why you wreaked havoc on me?

My love, this heart, belonged to you,

and you crushed it into pieces,

leaving this wreckage behind,

this wreckage of misery.

Today, here, I see you, 

Today, here, I see you,

with someone, you say, you love.

Isn’t that, exactly, what you once,

used to tell me, too?

Answers, I want from you.

‘Cause, I deserve to know, why,

why did I suffer so much,

why did you put me through

those torments that tore me apart?

Answers, I want from you.

‘Cause, you walked away, so quietly,

without saying a word, vanished, from my life,

as if we, us, together, never existed, leaving,

not even a single, not even a single, trace.

Answers, I want from you.

‘Cause, now that we’re here,

right here, standing, face to face.

– Agony.

– Abhishek Gupta.

I care.

I care.

I still care.

My bipolarity overpowers me.

Yesterday, there was no love, no care,

but, today I feel it, again, that I care.

I care about you, even though,

It doesn’t matter to you, 

if I’m alive or am I dead.

I care, because, there’s still,

some love left inside of me.

It terrifies me how much I care.

I would still do anything for you.

I care.

I still care.

– Love is evil.

– Abhishek Gupta.