If something or someone is
getting on my nerves to an
extent that I cannot bear it.
I simply drift away from
that thing or that person.
Not everything/everyone needs
a reaction from you. They might
as well be doing whatever they’re
doing just to get on your nerves,
so that you can lose your calm.
Be a better and sensible person.
Don’t lose you calm and peace
of mind in such situations.
-Abhishek Gupta
So many people, whom I
used to talk to all the time.
So many people, with whom I
used to spend so much of time.
We treat each others like
complete strangers now.
The sad is part is, nothing
went wrong between us.
We simply grew apart.
We grew so apart, that now,
it feels like we never
even knew each other.
It’s like we never even met.
-Abhishek Gupta
There’s a war brewing inside my head.
I’m so tired of this never ending sadness.
No more tears are left in my eyes to be shed.
To fight or not to fight?
I’m consumed by this darkness.
This darkness is getting stronger,
and my light is losing this fight.
I need to find the light.
Where’s the light?
Where’s the light?
I need to end this.
I need to know if I’m still sane.
Somebody, please stop this.
I don’t know how to stop this.
I feel all my efforts are going in vain.
Somebody, Please tell me.
How do I stop this pain?
How do I stop this pain?
-Abhishek Gupta
My heart aches, every time
I think that you’ll never know
how much love I have for you,
in my heart. You look for this kind of love
everywhere else, in everyone else,
but you never look for it, in me.
I guess I’ll never be the one for you,
and I’m tired of being treated
like an option. I guess this is
where we part our ways.
The love you crave for,
was right in front of you.
If only you’d have opened
your eyes and seen it, but it’s okay.
This is how life works.
It’s time, for me to bid
you a final goodbye.
-Abhishek Gupta
Ye duniya ek rangmanch hai,
Chaayi har oor tanhayi hai.
Khafa nahi hoon tujhse main.
Ye bas meri khud ki,
Khud se ladaayi hai.
-Abhishek Gupta.
The pen you gave me,
Before I went for my
first ever interview.
I threw it away, today.
The letter you wrote me,
where you confessed,
how you fell for me,
and what I meant to you.
I burnt it, today.
The keychain you gave me,
which had our initials
carved on it, as a reminder
of our profound love
for each other.
I thew it in the lake, today,
where we first kissed.
Our photos, every
frigging one of’em,
I tore them, today,
shredded them
into million pieces,
until I felt it couldn’t be
destroyed any further.
Your name, which I inked
on my wrist, I tried to wash
it off, but I couldn’t. I didn’t
have enough money left,
to remove it, so I burned it.
Because I was ready to bear
the pain of that burn rather
than this pain, this agony,
which my heart and I was
going through. I couldn’t
stand the fact that your
name was carved deep
in my skin, and I couldn’t
take it off. It disgusted me.
Lies, is what you fed me.
Broken hearted,
is what you made me.
You left me, alone,
so miserable, that
everyone now dreads me.
You said you loved me,
but I wasn’t the only one,
whom you said this to.
And when I saw it,
with my own eyes,it felt
like a dagger just pierced
right through my heart,
and dried, it bled me.
I threw away everything
which reminded me of you.
I destroyed everything
which reminded me of
how madly in love I was
with a person, who never
deserved any of my love.
But all of this for what?
I threw away everything.
I tried to erase you,
from my life.
But yet here we are,
in my memories,
a place which you will
never leave.
“Nightmare”
-Abhishek Gupta.
Do I feel lonely at times? Yes. There are so many people I’ve lost while trying to find a purpose of my life, a reason to live, a reason which will give me the motivation, the strength to get up the next morning and start working on myself and my purpose of life, again. I met so many people in my life. I loved some of them, I hated some of them, but I never thought ill for anyone, even if they did for me. Every time anyone needed me, I was there, as a friend, brother, lover or fam. I was there. But most of the time, I was left alone, once I was not needed anymore. The people I loved the most, they abandoned me. I know, that they know, that they were wrong somewhere, and so was I, but I was there for them even at their lowest, but they were never there for me. For a long time, I felt like a left out, like a unlovable person, like a guy who has no purpose in life. It’s really depressing. I just accidentally stumble upon peoples’ lives, give them love and support when they need it, help them and always stand by there side, and when the time is right, when I know they don’t need me anymore, I leave, or should I say, they leave me. All this time, I thought I am a lost cause, without a purpose, but I, now, realise that I’m already serving my purpose. What I never got, I give it to people. Unconditional love and support. It’s okay if I don’t get it back. I do it with no strings attached. I may be a loner, but I’m proud of myself, that I’ve brought smiles on the faces of a lot of people. I know, that they all know, they did me wrong. I did some wrong to them as well, but I always had a heart to make it all up to them again, unlike them. Well, I’m going to keep doing what I do. God bless y’all. Be well! xx
-Abhishek Gupta.
This time,
I won’t let anyone
take away this smile
and my happiness, from me.
This time,
I’m going to rise
back up, stronger.
This time,
I won’t let anyone
break my heart.
This time,
I will protect it,
and I’ll protect myself,
because this time,
I won’t let anyone
take away this smile
and my happiness, from me.
-Abhishek Gupta
I’ve lost so many people in my life, whom I loved from the core of my heart, that now I’ve become numb.
I’m not saying I’m saint and that I never made mistakes. I made mistakes, I overreacted in situations which could’ve been handled maturely, but I paid a heavy toll for my sensitive nature. I lost friends, who were precious to me more than myself.
But I tried to mend things, even though I was partly at fault. I decided to give them my love again, I tried to mend everything, but they refused it. Their ego didn’t let them accept their mistakes, so I ended up being hurt, all over again.
So yes, now, I don’t feel anything when I cut off people from my life, or if people cut me off from their life, because I’ve had enough of it, people playing with my feelings. My heart, now, is an abyss of nothingness. So those friends who ask me all the time, why did I change? Y’all are the reason I became what I am today.
-Abhishek Gupta
You can never go back to what you were. I can never go back to what I was. Our experiences change us. We evolve mentally, physically and emotionally with time. You need to accept yourself the way you’re now. Don’t think of the past, the things which made you happy. It’s in the past. Those people, those things which used to make you happy, aren’t there anymore. So find happiness in the things, the people you have now. Let bygones be bygones. Focus of present, because your present will shape your future. Always remember this.
-Abhishek Gupta